Sometimes you feel like you live too long(can't you just see a big ol tiger who's lived his entire life behind the bars of a 12 X 8 foot cage, pacing back and forth, his head hanging down as he watches life going on just out of reach?)
Days drip slowly on the page
You catch yourself
Pacing the cage ...
Sometimes the best map will not guide you(I think of these words often, wondering if all my walking, trying to hit the right road is just blind wondering in the dark)
You can't see what's round the bend
Sometimes the road leads through dark places
Sometimes the darkness is your friend
Do you ever get the feeling that this whole life is a joke? no matter how hard I try to make a difference and do the right thing and help someone, none of it matters a bit after I'm gone. The guy who sits on his ass all his life and never does a thing will be just as valued six months after he's dead as the guy who worked himself to death trying to get it right. Solomon (supposed to be the wisest man who ever lived) said "everything is vanity" - in other words, nothing matters except to the person doing it, and then only if it makes him feel better, like he accomplished something.
Some days I wish I had the guts, balls, courage, whatever to just get in the car and start driving, and keep going until I hit water, then crawl off under a tree and sit there until ... well, until, I don't know when. I wish I could crawl into a Buffett song and hide from the whole worthless, ungrateful world. Be a rum bum on a beach, scratching my beard and my ass and throwing sticks at the kids who come by to point and laugh at me. Stare at the horizon and the waves coming in. Watch the pelicans living a much more fulfilling life than most humans I've seen. Find the cool beneath the hot sand. Die out of the way.
So, how are you doing?
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